There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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