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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I need a beard to bite.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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