his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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