i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
