Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
