No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize