Don't make out with my wife yet
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
