I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
