The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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