i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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