whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I cut my penus on the lid.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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