Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
