So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
