he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
