haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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