I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
