ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
