I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
