PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
