How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
