How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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