moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
