I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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