How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
