i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
