Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
