Pappa wants mamma naked
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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