I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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