People with herpes should wear stickers.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize