I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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