"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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