there's paper in my vomit.
i just had sex bonerless
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
