North Korea, Best Korea!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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