the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
