Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
