good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
