Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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