it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
