if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
