Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize