Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You're a waste of cheezeits
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
