is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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