You work out of a Hotel?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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