I smell stomach acid.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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