Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
