You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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