Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
They took my balls.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
