Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
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I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
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You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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