After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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