Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
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Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
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I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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