my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
