I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
