i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
