I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
