he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
