She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
