id be glad to
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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