North Korea, Best Korea!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
