I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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