well I can't set my house on fire every night
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
