Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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